Celebrating Your Birthday Apart From Each Other
Even though you will not see your loved one physically, you have the memory of them and how they filled and continue to influence your life. Celebrate that on their birthday.
Birthdays in Heaven
My son will be turning 25 soon. I believe people still age in heaven, at least chronologically. They no longer have a physical body, of course, but I think they still have a bodily form. I imagine they can choose whatever age they want to be for their heavenly body.
I shared with my loss survivor support group that we will be celebrating my son’s birthday with him. We will be physically apart from each other, but if he can sense us, I want him to know we are celebrating his life.
My son will always be a part of me, and he will be for many of you who knew him. I will forever think of him in the present, as that is how he is in my mind. Therefore, we continue to celebrate his birthday.
When you lose an essential person in your life, they are indelible. They are still present to us, in how they shaped us, and our memories of them.
Like most children, when he was young, his birthday was a big deal. When he was in grade school, we hosted parties with his friends and grandparents, mixed in with baseball. He played in a league from age four all through high school, and there were baseball games every week from April through July.
As he got older, celebrating his birthday with his friends was primary, as it should be. In place of playing ball, he went to watch the MN Twins at the new TCF Bank Stadium. My son still made time for us to celebrate with him as a family. Our celebration with him usually focused on a family dinner. His dad would grill, and we would dine alfresco on the patio surrounded by the blooming spring flowers.
He was only food possessive with a few favorites, his birthday cake, cookies and cream ice cream from Sebastian Joes and Dad's grilled turkey burgers.
I always made a cake from scratch, his favorite that became a tradition was banana cake with milk chocolate and peanut butter frosting; recipe also in my blog. He was only food possessive with a few favorites, and this was one of them. He would take the leftovers back with him, to his apartment. If we did not have cake, we would head to our favorite house-made ice cream shop where he would usually order cookies and cream.
I think of my son almost every minute of every day. I miss his voice and his hugs, his humor, and the time together as we stood in the kitchen around the center island, as he shared with me the things he newly discovered from podcasts he listened to, news read, and videos watched. Pop news and talk shows are covering the latest excitement of a movie series my son often talked about.
My son is an avid fan of Marvel. The timing of his birthday since he died has aligned with the release of the Marvel Avenger series. He and my daughter would theorize over the Marvel movie plots, the development of the characters, and their favorite scenes. They had the opportunity to debate about the “Avengers: Infinity War”, before his death.
Marvel released this week the second in a series of the Avenger plot. I will miss seeing my two adult children express their excitement and anticipation about this release.
So now my birthday wishes for my son, that involves you, to honor the things he loved to do on his birthday
When hearing the sound of a baseball connecting with a metal bat, think of him.
When you are in the stands of a major league baseball game with your family or friends, look to the outfield and think of him.
When you go to the opening of a new Marvel movie, think of him.
When you hear a song from any of his music playlists, think of him.
When you are on the dance floor, think of him.
When you are out with a bunch of your friends, think of him.
Lastly, enjoy a piece of chocolate cake or bowl of cookies and cream ice cream, and think of him.
Even though you will not see your loved one physically, you have the memory of them and how they filled and continue to influence your life. Celebrate that on their birthday.
My son will always be a part of my present and future life. I carry him with me, as I live out mine.
When you lose an essential person in your life, they are indelible. They are still present to us, in how they shaped us, and our memories of them. In thinking of them, we may laugh, we may cry from sadness, at times feel like our hearts and minds have been ripped out of our bodies because they left. But, they will always be a part of you. My son will always be a part of me.
Happy 25th Birthday Baby
3 COMMENTS
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Alizabeth Rasmussen | 29th Apr 19
Blessings and love to you and your precious son, dear Peggy.
Colleen Doherty | 30th Apr 19
God bless you, Will. Thinking of you and your family on your birthday, as well as every other day of the year.
Jen | 8th May 19
I’m late but what a beautiful birthday tribute for a beautiful boy. Thank you so much for sharing. As tough as the day was you have inspired me for when my son’s birthday comes round.
You’ve done your son proud.
Much love.
Jen x